2/16/12
Wow what a scary day yesterday ! -venturing out on my own in the afternoon - realizing I was too far on foot and unsure of my route, my map being not detailed enough. I had no phone (yet) and had left the House without even the phone number of the house. I had to ask three different people if I was on the right track. They were mostly friendly and helpful. I startled the token booth guy with a bill much too large for paying for a token, I put my bag and myself through something approximating to airport security and then I make my way to the platform - huge wide staircases (worthy of a great museum), clean platforms and train coaches. I step on board the nearest car and am immediately and pleasantly startled by the array of beautiful women and girls, brightly colored in their costumes all around me - feeling conspicuous in my strangeness. It took me at least a minute of two to realize I was the only male in that section. The women were mostly glancing at me with mild disinterest in that way of "there's a foreigner!" I was thinking - this is odd - almost surreal - felt I had been magically transported into some kind of wedding party on the bride's side, like I find when I greet the bride at a wedding before the service surrounded by her bridesmaids. I still have no idea what is going on, when at the next station a metro official on the platform is gesturing wildly to me to through the door to move, and all I can think of is that he wants me to stop leaning on a pole that is close to a plastic partition that might be fragile. So I stand up straight and hope I'm not going to be arrested for leaning against fragile plastic. Then all of a sudden I notice a young woman half way down the car motioning to me with a smile and a head movement that I can move up the car towards her. So I do and she says as I approach still gesturing with her head and a compassionate smile "the men's section is at that other end." I sheepishly make my way swiftly towards the men you are now very visible to me crowded in like sardines in the next section while the women are enjoying lots of space and relative comfort. I look back at the young woman who is still looking at me and I smile and mouth a big "THANK YOU" which she acknowledges and then returns to her mobile phone. On my return journey and rush hour, being very mindful of the earlier experience I am searching for the men's section only to be further bamboozled by the fact that all the cars seem to be mixed. I laugh to myself - the things no one thinks to explain because they are so taken for granted. I'm a stranger in a strange place. I'm experiencing what it mean to be completely outnumbered and be conspicuous to everyone I meet as being a stranger. I'm also feeling very unsure of myself and somewhat vulnerable in my unfamiliarity with everything.
Walking back in the dark from the station to the house, with my new phone in my pocket (but no phone numbers of any use) I was even more lost and unsure of myself, doing that thing I do when my confidence in one direction begins to fail me and I turn around and back track and then pause and re-think my position and consult the map and graetfully there was one name on a doorway that told me I was on the right track,. I even found the shortcut that I had used to get to the station :) I have never felt so relieved to get home in my life and I use the word home advisedly for the sheer contrast between the totally unfamiliar and the now familiar shape of the House and its drive.
Wow what a scary day yesterday ! -venturing out on my own in the afternoon - realizing I was too far on foot and unsure of my route, my map being not detailed enough. I had no phone (yet) and had left the House without even the phone number of the house. I had to ask three different people if I was on the right track. They were mostly friendly and helpful. I startled the token booth guy with a bill much too large for paying for a token, I put my bag and myself through something approximating to airport security and then I make my way to the platform - huge wide staircases (worthy of a great museum), clean platforms and train coaches. I step on board the nearest car and am immediately and pleasantly startled by the array of beautiful women and girls, brightly colored in their costumes all around me - feeling conspicuous in my strangeness. It took me at least a minute of two to realize I was the only male in that section. The women were mostly glancing at me with mild disinterest in that way of "there's a foreigner!" I was thinking - this is odd - almost surreal - felt I had been magically transported into some kind of wedding party on the bride's side, like I find when I greet the bride at a wedding before the service surrounded by her bridesmaids. I still have no idea what is going on, when at the next station a metro official on the platform is gesturing wildly to me to through the door to move, and all I can think of is that he wants me to stop leaning on a pole that is close to a plastic partition that might be fragile. So I stand up straight and hope I'm not going to be arrested for leaning against fragile plastic. Then all of a sudden I notice a young woman half way down the car motioning to me with a smile and a head movement that I can move up the car towards her. So I do and she says as I approach still gesturing with her head and a compassionate smile "the men's section is at that other end." I sheepishly make my way swiftly towards the men you are now very visible to me crowded in like sardines in the next section while the women are enjoying lots of space and relative comfort. I look back at the young woman who is still looking at me and I smile and mouth a big "THANK YOU" which she acknowledges and then returns to her mobile phone. On my return journey and rush hour, being very mindful of the earlier experience I am searching for the men's section only to be further bamboozled by the fact that all the cars seem to be mixed. I laugh to myself - the things no one thinks to explain because they are so taken for granted. I'm a stranger in a strange place. I'm experiencing what it mean to be completely outnumbered and be conspicuous to everyone I meet as being a stranger. I'm also feeling very unsure of myself and somewhat vulnerable in my unfamiliarity with everything.
Walking back in the dark from the station to the house, with my new phone in my pocket (but no phone numbers of any use) I was even more lost and unsure of myself, doing that thing I do when my confidence in one direction begins to fail me and I turn around and back track and then pause and re-think my position and consult the map and graetfully there was one name on a doorway that told me I was on the right track,. I even found the shortcut that I had used to get to the station :) I have never felt so relieved to get home in my life and I use the word home advisedly for the sheer contrast between the totally unfamiliar and the now familiar shape of the House and its drive.
Yes, I read about the segregation of trains - India must be the only place in the world where women have a leisurely public transport. No wonder the bridal party chose it as her means of getting around. You were the fox among the hens!
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